Yesterday, I was forced out of my self-quarantine by a
reality check. At 4am Tuesday March 24,
2020, a day after my 50th birthday, I woke up with a tickle in my
throat. It made me cough. It made me have an asthma attack. Grrr…
After some meds and a cup of hot tea, I was able to get back to sleep with thoughts of virus on my mind. A few
hours later, I woke up and had some breakfast still not feeling quite
right. My left shoulder ached, I was a
bit lightheaded and in a fog, an elephant had parked on my chest making it hard
to get a breath in, and I felt a little queasy.
After a while, I phoned my asthma doctor’s office to speak to them about
a new medication, but then I asked the nurse about my symptoms. She said call EMS immediately as I may be
having a heart attack. It seems heart
attack symptoms can be strange for women.
I wasn’t having any actual pain or anything, but I did call EMS.
After the ambulance ride to Las Cruces and hours spent in
the ER, I have some observations I’d like to share. First, I’m ok. Doctors couldn’t find any evidence of a
cardiac event, thank God. My cardiac
enzymes were normal, bloodwork normal, and EKG was normal. So, what happened? I don’t know.
I have to follow up with a cardiologist in the future and will likely
blog about that experience.
What I do know is this:
The Covid-19 virus is a little bitch and must be stopped! This virus is taking over the entire world
and causing death and suffering like nothing I’ve ever personally witnessed.
However, yesterday while in the ambulance and at the ER, I did witness some of
the suffering in a form I didn’t expect.
It started with the call for paramedics. The dispatcher got all of my information and
then asked me a series of questions to determine if I was at risk for having
Covid-19. He was apologetic about having
to ask, but I told him I totally understood and thanked him for being
extra-careful. When EMS arrived to
assess me, they looked hesitant as they began asking me the same questions the
dispatcher had asked. They stayed back
from me until I assured them I was neither a risk nor having respiratory
distress. The relief on their faces was
evident. I thought to myself how tough
it must be for them to do their jobs in light of this pandemic. They have to worry about themselves and their
families more than ever. As they
attended to me, I also noticed that they had to take a lot more precautions
than usual. Their jobs are not easy, and
to add more protocol and procedures because of Covid-19 must be
taxing.
As they whisked me away straight to a Las Cruces hospital, I
couldn’t help but stare at my home and the mountains wondering if I would ever
see them again. Burning the images into
my mind, I resolved to stay as calm as possible hoping to hasten my return. The ride was uneventful, but I observed all
of the new procedures the paramedic had to accomplish thanks to this virus. He
was so sweet, but I could tell he was stressed out and tired. He told me he sleeps when he can, but with so
many new things to learn because of the virus, he has been skipping an hour or
two of sleep daily for training.
Once at the ER, I was immediately attended to with lots of
prodding and poking. This wasn’t my
first rodeo, but something was different.
There is a hesitation now, and certainly a lot more efforts to protect
not only me but the staff. Because I was
having some trouble breathing, the second priority (after the IV) was to get a chest X-ray to rule out pneumonia (read:
evidence of Covid-19). It was
clear which was a comfort to me but a HUGE comfort to the staff. Instead of yellow gowns and blue masks with
clear plastic eye protection, they came in scrubs and face masks.
As each nurse attended to me, I asked them how they were
doing amid this pandemic. Each and every
one of them told me they were tired and some said they were having a very hard
time doing their jobs. I could see
why. I was in a room right outside the
nurses station, and I could see each one of them having to dress in the yellow
gown, gloves, hair covering, shoe covering, and masks with tall, clear plastic
shields over their eyes just to check on new patients or those displaying
symptoms of Covid-19. It took time for
them to don this attire-time that could have been spent in better ways. I could see housekeeping wearing what
appeared to be full hazmat suits cleaning, cleaning, and cleaning
constantly. I could hear them time and again having to explain to family members on the phone about why they could not come into the room with their loved one.
The hospital had just taken the precaution of not allowing
visitors in the ER, so when Paul got there, he couldn’t come see me. I was glad
though, because the ER was a little chaotic. A distraught, confused elderly gentleman began
walking the hall asking where he could lie down. The nursing staff was unable to calm him and
repeatedly tried to explain to him that he cannot be walking through the halls
and had to return to his room. He just
wanted to go home, he said. He couldn't understand or fathom how America was in quarantine. What virus? he thought everybody was lying to him. The nursing
staff frantically began calling his next-of-kin to come get him, and one nurse
became agitated with the man and began yelling at him to go back into his
room. Attendants retrieved him and returned
him to his room to wait for family to pick him up. I did see him a few more times as they would retrieve him. Afterwards, I heard the irritated nurse
apologizing for losing her cool to her co-workers explaining that she was so
tired and how she just wanted to go home to her daughters and have a normal
evening. I could hear the tears in her voice, but she held them back. They all agreed with her, but
what she said next really struck a cord, “If only people would stay at home and
not spread this virus, we wouldn’t be having this situation right now.” I would imagine nurses all over the world are saying the same thing.
As I waited in ER #3, a brightly lit and fairly large room, I
had a lot of time to think. How did it
come to this? Just the day before I had turned 50 years old. I had
long expected that this birthday would be spent with my family having a little
bash to celebrate my half-century mark.
Instead, I was home in a self-quarantine to try and stay healthy. I didn't mind, actually. Knowing my family was safe made me happy. I have two serious chronic illnesses that
make me more vulnerable to a serious case of Covid-19 (among others). I am always careful, but I never imagined
that the world as I know it would be shut down because of an illness.
Now I understand much more clearly. I read about the numbers of people sick with
this virus all over the world. I hear about the number of
deaths. Until you see the faces and hear
the voices for yourself, these statistics only register in our brains as
numbers. Numbers can’t hurt us,
right? In America, we are a superpower;
we are a nation of strength and resilience.
Right? No! Don’t be fooled. Never take your comfort for granted. America is vulnerable. WE are vulnerable. We are fragile individual humans susceptible
to a lot of things including Covid-19.
It’s so easy to help stop the spread of this virus. STAY HOME! I did. As I was lying in the ER, I should have been on a plane going to see my brother and sister-in-law to celebrate my birthday with them. I was so excited for this trip, but I made the right decision rescheduling it. I know that our nation is poised for additional crisis, particularly
financial, but if we keep going out when we don’t have to and potentially
spread the virus to others, it is only going to lead to MORE time staying
home. This equals more time not getting
a paycheck or returning your household to normal (not to mention getting the whole country and world back to
normal).
People, I implore you to stop
whining that you can’t go to the movies, the mall, or to the ballpark. Take a minute and think about how your
actions could make our quarantine go from a few weeks to several months. Even if you don’t have symptoms, you could
still carry the virus and infect dozens if not hundreds of others who then may
infect still more. Stay home and learn a language. Learn a new hobby or take an online class. There is a free class at Yale that teaches about happiness! Stay home, my
friends, and don’t forget to try and support local businesses working hard to
socially distance while still providing goods and services so they can weather
this quarantine too.
Peace.
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